Keep up with technology or fall behind. That’s what they say, and besides some of the stuff is pretty cool. What’s even more fun is hearing all the buzzwords they use to describe whatever they’re hawking.
Can we use these magical words here, for landscape architecture? As the song says, come with me and we’ll be in a world of pure imagination. Maybe we don’t make computers but we do imagine landscapes, and occasionally do things with chocolate. Take a look and we’ll see…
I’d like to introduce an incredible, amazing landscape that comes alive made possible by technologies and imagination that changes the way we enjoy living outdoors. It’s more than just a new design, it’s completely natural and expressive, a seriously cool synergy of life and nature, that optimizes both your experience and ecology. You’re going to love it and we’re so happy to have brought it to life for you. With 24% more color, 17% more species of birds, watch what happens when for the first time ever you create both living spaces and habitat in your own backyard. You’ll notice that living outdoors has never been easier. It’s truly the gold standard of sustainable design, changing the category with an incredibly easy to use space that brings your backyard to you in an interactive format not possible before. Your new landscape will have so many great uses, things like escape, relaxation, birds. Let’s take a look at birds. They fly, eat, bathe and support the core functionality of your new ecological garden. It’s truly the new generation of design, and you’re going to love it!
So, how did I do? Are you inspired? You should be; these words were certainly chosen by highly paid psychomarketing experts to get your blood racing, your neurotransmitters buzzing and your brain lighting up like the brightest OLEDs.
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Here are some things I gleaned from watching promotional videos for technology. Sometimes they repeat, because that’s what they did in the videos. I’d like to think of them as a tool kit for DIY hyperbole.
- incredible amazing
- …an example of that
- I’d like to invite…
- the future of…
- made possible on…
- incredible
- more insightful with…
- comes alive
- makes it easy to…
- interactive format not possible before…
- great example of…
- changing the way we enjoy…
- incredible amazing
- just the beginning for us
- we want to do even more
- we want to…
- discover great new content…
- today we’re announcing…
- simply call it…
- completely change
- rather than talk about it…
- show you all about it…
- it’s so great to…
- discover something new…
- absolute best content…
- just click…
- easy for me to…
- best place for me to…
- moving over to the…
- right here in the app
- completely change how we…
- easier than ever to…
- now, …
- so that’s great
- but what about when…
- all I need to do is…
- makes it so easy to…
- the best place to…
- I’m very excited about…
- So now there is a unified…
- discover and enjoy
- by the end of this year
- coming later this year
- before the end of the year
- There’s really no reason to… anywhere else
- More than a product
- Best version yet
- powerful new features
- Just with a click and a tap
- On top of the capabilities…
- Just by…
- We’re really excited about all the things you can do with…
- This week/day/month happens to be a huge week/day/month…
- Changing the category
- Defined the…
- Major innovation
- Pushed the industry forward
- The first…
- We’ve been defining and redefining…
- Absolutely incredible
- This is so exciting
- seriously cool
- whole new design
- incredibly extreme
- the new gold standard
- innovations not possible before
- thinnest and lightest … ever
- just … thin
- absolutely stunning and beautiful
- the best, the standard
- everything is all new
- only possible because…
- best … we’ve ever made
- more responsive
- it is a great…
- taken on the challenge to move forward
- enhances the experience
- truly remarkable
- we call it…
- intuitive
- useful
- fun to use
- second generation
- feels great
- working live for the very first time
- never been easier
- amazing new
- and for the first time ever
- what’s really great is
- you’ll notice that
- things like…
- even…
- I’m presented with…
- It’s all about emoji now…
- super easy
- just like this
- transformed with
- I can just…
- Or even…
- That’s easy too.
- I’m just going to…
- So I have this…
- I can easily…
- Like this one…
- Great for…
- I can also apply…
- amazing out of the box…
- all of the capabilities available to me…
- watch what happens…
- incredibly easy
- and even your…
- Just like that, I’ve…
- Amazing
- so many great uses
- it’s great for…
- and it’s really wonderful
- simply the best…
- % brighter
- % lighter
- % smaller
- % less volume
- % more colors
- % faster
- % more powerful
- most powerful…
- Let’s take a look at…
- Thanks so much
- Next, wanna show you…
- So happy to have…
- incredibly natural and expressive
- amazing
- synergy
- incredible
- two hand operation
- let’s dive right in
- core functionality
- we can’t wait for you to check it out
- so many great…
- doing remarkable things
- complete support for…
- an entirely new experience
- gold standard
- The best… we’ve ever
- optimizes both… and …
- incredible
- new generation
- beryllium free
- simply the best… ever
- high end professional customers
- going to love them
- I would love to show it to you now
- Best … we have ever made
- Most advanced … ever made
- “advanced design”
- incredible new techniques
- Going to focus on
- Expanding our vision
- Faster way to connect and share
- 3D is for everyone
- I’m excited to announce
- Here you can see
- Fortunately, because …
- I can easily…
- Another way we are making…
- A community we’re building…
- We’re excited to announce…
- Was the first to…
- first and only to…
- most powerful … yet
- the most performant…
- for professionals
- the thinnest
- it pushes … pixels
- what you see is really what you get
- unprecedented
- all fits perfect
- palm rejection
- introduce you to
- incredible to see
And that’s it. No “One More Thing” here. They don’t do that any more.